RM Live - 12/6

라이브 (Live)

My commentary in green.

I watched this live around 11am ET and typed this up as I was watching.. and am coming back around to include this commentary now at the top after finishing the transcription.

I have seen a lot of dramatic, sad, some performative, mostly sincere outcries from ARMY of all kinds all over the place. Since waking up, I've been tagged, dm'd all sorts of things... and I had my own personal fires to put out this morning so I'm just getting around to it all but I want to emphasize just 3 things before diving into the translation:

1 - It's during the more serious lives that I realize how much is lost in translation. We can all giggle and thirst over their cuteness/abs just the same but then when it comes to weighted words sometimes the seriousness is taken too lightly, sometimes the lightheartedness is taken way too seriously, sometimes idioms are taken literally - and all of that warps the intended message just enough that you're left with this slightly warped picture sometimes. It's not so off that you're completely off the mark but so many of my moots/followers are so deeply impacted by the mindset of the BTS members that when you all are swayed so deeply that it ruins/makes your whole days - it makes me pause and rethink the weight of what it means for me to translate for you all...

2 - All that to say that this live unearthed a LOT - but all in all, he's not devastated or defeated or depressed or destroyed or anything like that. In fact, the tone with which he speaks on things - GIVEN the fact that yes they will ALWAYS be dealing with GLOBAL scrutiny and that comes with a huge burden (but one they've grown to manage since they were teens) - is that he's more sure of himself, more sure of his members, and more sure of the strength of love of the ARMYs that will stick around. So please hear/read this live not as RM complaining or crumbling before us but now, as RM leans on the strength of what ARMY can be expected to handle, he's sort of "debriefing" his latest thoughts with us.

3 - ALSO - I have no idea if something happened in the recent past? But my thoughts are just that I trust them. I look forward to whatever they'll put out not because I'm so sure they'll nail my musical preferences just right but because I adore, admire, and deeply respect all of them as artists - so no matter what, I know whatever music/performance they put forward, it will be the result of hundreds of hours of poring over details, words, pronunciations, angles, alignment, expression, and creativity. I will support their earnest efforts, artistic integrity, and love of their craft and lives WELL AND FULLY (not perfectly) lived.

---

oh my lips are so red..
hi everyone
one sec.. wow my lips are so red
hi everyone... it's been a while
let me just throw on 'Do Not Disturb' cuz I keep getting notifications from the group chat

oh it's not that i've had a hard time..
just wanted to catch up since it's been a while
is the angle okay?
is it a bit better?

how should i do this? [set up his camera]
i don't have a tripod right now
is this better?
ah how should i set this up..
oh shoot
one sec
sorry
sorry this must be dizzying right?
this is better right?
i need to fix..
okay this is the best i can do..

i got hair and makeup done so i could confidently turn this on though it's been a while
ah this is making me nervous hold on i can't do this i need to put this down [his phone kept falling]
okay i'll do it like this hi everyone
the translation's going out well right?
subtitles are going out

yea so. we had a shoot today all together
we just finished shooting together
i was about to take off my makeup before working out
so i turned this on since it's been a while
my lips are so red it's a bit embarrassing
but anyway
yea

lol i've never heard of someone being embarrassed because their lips were too red hahaha

so yea..
so there are ARMY in my vicinity
so any time something happens there are folks that run over to let me know... people who like send us stuff..

what should i say..
i'm careful about what i say since it's a live stream
but if something happens i'm not really about to explain/unpack everything
because i have a lot of shortcomings myself
but i want to share what i can if/when helpful
and as you know in this line of work when something happens
or when something needs to be released
or when there's some behind the scenes stuff..
i can't say everything right now

because what i want to say is
i can no longer represent my team because i'm just one person
and truly while doing BTS activities about 5 years..
until about 2017 or 2018 i think i did things like this ["repping BTS" to the public and to the company, etc.]
but by now.. the members are all individuals
they each have their own boundaries and lifestyle ..tendencies.. style..

so to be very clear, this is not him saying he doesn't want to or is "over" being the team leader, he's saying that WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE has evolved because he's not representing 6 chaotic adolescents - his brothers are their own entities unto themselves with opinions, industry expertise, and their own lifestyles

so to expect to "report something to RM" or "suggest RM do XYZ on behalf of another member" ..etc.. is not useful.

i mean, tbh i'd argue no one should do this at all because. ..tf?? Hybe has created the portal to report bad behavior. The company will deal with legal issues on their behalf. They've been dealing with CONSTANT scrutiny since their teen years and they have 6 other brothers that can help ground them at any time IF they believe it is wise to do so.

so me going to the company to say we need to do this for the members
or me telling the members what to do - doesn't really apply anymore
so like for us..
so like re: situations that would have caused us to pause/end the team..
you might be aware of some of those situations - but there were a LOT of them [throughout the years]
so i'm very thankful to still be doing this together

i just met with the members a little while ago and we talked and had fun
we filmed and it was nice so anyway but
we're very lucky and happy people
we chose this line of work
and as a result.. the difficulty that comes with being under constant scrutiny is something we're used to

i'm not the type to defend/explain/clarify [against rumors/misunderstandings]
and it's stuff that isn't for me to even defend/explain/clarify anyway.. [against]
but i want to ease some worries or rather what should i say
i thought it would be good to say something while keeping clear boundaries
and since i have makeup on anways.. i wanted to share some updates too

so yea.. why..
so many people around me have been asking
"why did you guys skip the second half of 2025?"
saying like .."why didn't you do anything?"
we didn't want to skip it either
i personally wanted to do a lot of activities after my discharge
but there were things i couldn't share
and there were reasons we decided not to do activities in the second half of the year
but i can't share those reasons
because i don't have the right to

anyway i really want to do stuff too
how much do you think i wanted to do stuff after a year and a half
our last concert was in october 2022
it's already been over 3 years

of course it's sincere - i want to perform right now
but as you know
time has passed
a lot has changed
so preparation is needed
a lot of preparation is needed
i don't know about the other members but personally it's a huge burden
but since what we're doing now is all just preparation
it's also frustrating..

frustrating because it's taking time to work on things to be able to perform

to be honest - i'm so lost because did something happen?? tf? who in the ass is saying these insane things to them?!

idk what happened but i imagine if this was run of the mill 'annoying comments' he wouldn't address it so specifically on a live.. so i imagine there was some kind of episode? but i don't know what it is..

lately i haven't been able to sleep at night again since last month
so was even considering whether or not to get another prescription
anyway.. there's that..
i mean it's not. ..

well we wanted to do things.. but there were reasons we could not.
so i just wanted to state that clearly

it was not for lack of wanting to do activities

but again - i'm SO confused - i honestly feel like they've been doing SOOO MUCH?? like legit RIGHT after discharge ..hitting the ground running for all of them...?

and then about the re: what you've all been talking about.
i mean i can't personally unpack/defend/explain every single thing one by one
for example.. i don't have TikTok on my phone...
I don't know TikTok ... i tried downloading it but it was too chaotic for me

So now it really feels like this is the Gen Z and Alpha generation's era
I mean next year, I'll already be 33 in Korean age

32 in international age

but then how do we continue the content we used to do..
like how do we evolve it to short form content.. or if we do long form content
how do we adapt it to the current reality
we had discussions about this yesterday and the day before

so i know it's frustrating for many of you
it must be very frustrating
there are so many things going on outside, right?
but anyway we are aware of all of it, of course
but this too, of course,... i cannot speak on behalf of my whole my team or my company because i'm just one person, right?

but anyway
i will do what i can do, and am doing those things..
for example, i also want the company to announce quickly
when our album is coming out
i want them to announce what we're doing next quickly
but as you know the company is a listed company
no longer BigHit ..as when i first joined ...as one of 9 people
and i cannot control the company's preparations or such things at my own discretion
i'm also a member of society, a worker

and it's the same for the members too - they're all in their 30s now, everyone
i mean... as you know i have so many flaws and shortcomings
i also have a lot of *self-hatred
i still can't overcome my insomnia so i'm like this
living day by day
i can't even take care of my own body and mind properly
so how can i do something for the team
i often think about whether i have the drive myself

*i should add he doesn't include this for pity or to make himself sound super vulnerable - he mentions this to sorta align(?) himself with US/EVERYONE like 'i'm just like yall' i TOO have a lot of self-hate.. struggle w/ that just the same' - not to harp on it

but anyway the album is almost .. it's on it's way.. it's on it's way
we practiced together yesterday too
i can't post photos every day
we're filming and practicing every day
i can't tell you exactly what's going on right now..
because if i tell you it won't be fun ..it won't be fun..
and it wouldn't be right for me to reveal those things anyway

but we all have a lot of concerns
about how to move forward well next

but with regard to us.. like of course we've all changed
we've changed.. you all have also changed..
i mean.. i'm very careful to speak/comment on that
but in any case, we have to keep moving forward right?

we have to keep doing activities
then.. is it better to disband..?
for example.. is it better for the team to just stop?
i've thought about that tens of thousands of times
but continuing the team now is because
we have so much love for each other
and then love and respect for you all who are watching this live right now
it's because of the love and respect
so
but of course all things
since we're people who are exposed
one member, or one celebrity, or just ..one person who makes music..
i mean naturally - no one can be perfectly moral in every way
that's just how it is
it's weird to just end it like that..

but today while filming together again..
i was really tired so at first i was just sitting very still like this

but then the music.. and hobi and friends were having fun
and we were all looking at each other's eyes and i was like
yea ..we're still us..

we want to show this quickly right?
why wouldn't we want to??
and many people must be frustrated right now...
we're frustrated from our pov..
the company is frustrated from their pov..
and the people watching us have obviously waited a long time for us
so you all must be frustrated
but personally i've never once taken that for granted

of course i'll make mistakes in the future and do wrong things
and you'll see me not meeting your expectations
however.. however...lately i've been keeping a diary
however.. as just one creator of content..
if i can still make and show something that reaches even one person, i want to keep doing it

but that form..
well i want to stand by this brand
for me personally if i have a flaw, my flaw, my complex is overthinking and dwelling on things
but the members help alleviate that
and make me a better person
and the same goes for you all who watch us and listen to us

if it weren't for you all i might have lived my life like total trash honestly
but anyway since i'm someone who creates and makes things
i always have to balance freedom and such things
i have my own will to lead my life
but to do something i have to get up from my seat and make something..
fight and worry and work hard and practice
before that it doesn't get made
and in the background of my personal life many things are happening
and you all are the same right?
so like.. how can i say like..
"so since we're the same you all can't just be there for me? right?"
i can't just say things like that..
i don't have the right to say things like that...

but ..good.. good transition?
for a good next chapter

so it's like this for me personally ... since i give a lot of speeches and stuff.. i end up thinking..

what is 'positive influence' anyway?

as a human being, to what extent do i have to uphold morals and ethics..

but those morals and ethics..
are they dependent on some kind of
some kind of category?
i don't know, it's hard to articulate it exactly..
i'm also very...
as you know...
i'm not someone who can easily just shrug things off

i'm aware that even by turning on this live and saying these things it could come back to bite me in the butt later..

people who dislike me will dislike me no matter what i say
no matter how i speak, people will dislike me anyway, right?
they'll be like "...that's what i thought"
"i didn't like him from the start.."
"he acts all nice and smart"
but because of those things
the only thing i can do is...

oh my hands are cold right now..
my extremities are cold..

so anyway.. prepations are underway
umm... many folks are thinking along with us about how we can switch up what we used to do
and we have a lot of thoughts on it too
for example like i mentioned earlier
if the 30-40 minute or 1 hour content we used to do
if the view counts aren't coming in and it's not fitting the current reality
then we have to change it to fit the platform too right?
so about that.. but i've never like properly attempted making short form content before so then what do i do?
i wonder sometimes if it's too much like an adult imitating kids..
i think about that too
it's just stuff like that

so we're doing all this while sorta fumbling through it all..
for me personally, i'm concerned/thinking about you all..
because i love you all of course
of course you must all have different thoughts
some people will think this way, some people will think that way
on the premise that you like me
..ON that premise
on the premise that you like me
that you have affection for me
i will do my best, within what i can do, to help us move forward
that's all i'll say for now.. just up to this point..

and like
i'm trying to get my driver's license
i wanted to share this with you too..

look at the smiley koala bb

i'll be taking the test someone
i'm trying to change a lot of things
for me personally .. as i'm 32 years old now
i went to the military at 30 right? and doing to driver's ed at 32?
so it's driving me crazy because my little cousin did it, my younger sister did it
everyone at like ..20..18.. but then being a 'celebrity' and having to work.. and somehow 30.. now at 32..

so how should i put this?
I've really been feeling just how hard it is to live a normal .. like just one person's normal life doing your share..

and as i get older, i realize that taking on new challenges becomes even more difficult..
i've been thinking about that a lot too

so while practicing for my driver's license this time, i learned a lot

and then dancing..
it'd been a while but i started practicing again at the end of November
I'd been practicing alone but then the members came and we practiced together..and
as we keep dancing together.. though i'm still not good at dancing yet.. it's just so fun
goofing around on stage is so fun

so I keep thinking it'd be so fun to do a concert here.. and there..
and that's how i've been spending my days

honestly - more than anyone, I really do want to get back to it too
it's really driving me crazy too
i'd really like for you to know that

as in PLEASE be clear that regardless of what they're able to 'output' immediately, that the DESIRE to be interacting with ARMY is top of mind first and foremost

and well .. i mean that's really it..
for me as one content creator
i have so many flaws and shortcomings
but i will keep trying
to live well.. well.. i don't really even know what that means but
you [all] and I and all of those who have affection for us
we'll keep moving forward - together

literally, 계속 호흡해 나가면서 means "keep breathing together" "continuing to breathe together" - and while this isn't exactly an idiom - it is a commonly used metaphor to mean like keep pace with each other steadily as we move forward together - the emphasis being on the continuity and the gentle pacing (without rushing)

that's just what we'll do
and later on - maybe the people who used to like us before but maybe grew upset or lost interest - if we continue to do well - they can come back, right?

that's the mindset we'll keep.

i don't know at what point V left this comment but
"Namjoonshii"

oh shoot taehyungi left a comment
oh did the live get cut off?
oh taehyungsshi

oh and everyone..
when we're doing a personal live.. looking for other members is a bit..
cuz it's not like i'm intentionally preventing them from being on the live, right?
i'd like for you to refrain from doing that please

like for you to come into my live to look for other members is a bit..
that's upsetting..
they all have phones too
if they want to do a live, they'll turn it on themselves
i hope you understand that

anyway that's that taehyungah what are you doing? you just got off work right?
right?
the subtitles must have gone out by now right?

please don't look for anyone else
you just came to my station
other members have their phones, they'll turn on their lives if they want to

please feel free to screenshot/circulate this segment (with credit/link to full translation) for ALLLL TO SEE. he did not stutter when he said grow tf up. it's not cute/funny to be ignorant. ALL OTHER LANGUAGE SPEAKERS - please translate this portion to your own language and circulate it amongst your folks! I've seen the rounds in K-ARMY with people calling other spammers out. EVEN if initially it was done with no mal intent to be silly/funny - maybe by younger ARMY? maybe by newer ARMY? maybe by folks new to kpop in general? EVEN SO - sure, you don't know what you don't know but ONCE it's made clear like this - NOW, you have no excuse. That WILL BE the LAST TIME you ever pull some bullshit like that.

anyway
so many people are watching right now
i know it's not the same for everyone..

but like ...i can't quit right?
i can't quit BTS ..like we're just about to start back up again.. i can't quit now
so for me - with my affection.. my will.. my drive/will for my life.. and my love.. i will face and fight to keep going
however that may look...

with a heart that is looking forward to next year..
like i really wish i could just blink and it'll be next year
really - december has been so hard for me
so yea..
and well i mean i turned this live on because i had things i wanted to say so..

anyway i really miss you
we'll prepare well and we'll show you
even though there are no guarantees [for us re: anything]

we'll prepare well, workout well..
life life diligently..

we have to live our lives..
people - we have to live our lives SO that we can even do music..
make music..

if we just keep making content.. and just take up all our time being in front of cameras with no life behind the scenes... the music that comes out of that would not be imbued with the scent of humanity.. like what would be behind those lyrics? right?

you have to play..
you have to play and live.. and be a whole human being in order to even make good content
..sigh "good content.."
that has too much potential to be misunderstood here..
starting that sentiment over
..so i think you have to do that [live well beyond the celeb/content-generating life]
you have to do that IN ORDER to be able to share..
you have to do that IN ORDER for a person's individuality can still connect universally with people (transcend the individual)
that's what we believe..

so for people like us who make music -
i think we're deeply flawed and with a lot of shortcomings
and i'm the same
but our wonkiness and such..
all those things will definitely contribute to/influence what we make
and because that's what I believe.. i ..
like..
everything we've been through..

eh..
pausing to very carefully consider his words

it's like..
like the concept of love is .. like..
so..
so when i say 'i love you all' or when you all say 'you love me or us' -
the 'love'
i think what matters more than the 'cover' of the book called love is the substance/content inside

because i think saying "i love you" is easily
especially nowadays it's become so easy.. but what is packed into that
to say that 'i love this person' - like what does that mean you want to do with/for this person?
what do i expect from this person?
like watch a sunset together?
to know what kind of coffee that person drinks in the morning?
to know what kind of songs they listen to before going to sleep?
you know.. those types of things..

so as we think about..
our relationship with each other into the future..
i think about this all the time
and to be clear i don't take those kinds of *expressions/sentiments lightly or for granted

as in, if that's how ARMY expresses affection for them by asking those types of things or wondering those types of things.. he doesn't take that affection for granted
and i can't demand/force that kind of love

i have accrued an enormous debt to you all in my life
you know that
i mean ..
i am in no way some incredible person
i'm not some kind of genius

i'm just... people always say 'i always act like i'm smart'
but i don't think i've ever acted smart cuz i've never thought of myself as smart
there are so many people that study way better
and know way more than me
there are so many people that know way more than me
so that's why i try... right?
i talk.. i ask.. i study.. that's what one does...

was i born with a driver's license?
i was not which is why i couldn't drive at 20.. and now at 32.. i'm in the process of acquiring it...

i think learning how to love is the same way
we learn how to love..
if there was such a thing as a 'license' for love [to be studied/acquired]
i don't think anyone is born with that license
i think a LOT of people do get that twisted..

(as in they do assume they're born knowing how to love right off the bat)

as we are confronted by each other
we just continue to learn.. how to love one another
that's what i believe

this is my half-baked little philosophy

개똥철학 (gae ddong chuhrock) - literally dogshit philosophy
a sheepish way to say "just my two cents - so take it with a grain of salt"

i mean you all already know how much i fear sharing so much of myself .. but saying all this despite all that .. this is what i can ..
this is how i want to live my life and
i think ..evidence of how much i love you all
if i didn't love you all .. i wouldn't be able to do all this..

i would be so grateful if you could accept that and let that soak in .. i mean even if you don't i guess i can't do anything about it

but in any case,
we're going to continue to practice through december
we're going to continue to film..
there's not that much longer to go

i am *deeply ashamed/apologetic for having kept you all waiting for so long
i am *deeply ashamed/apologetic

*송구합니다 (songgu hamnida) - this isn't just 'i'm sorry' this word expressing apology is usually reserved for a very deeply-felt, deeply ashamed apologies given with all sincerity - sometimes used in public speeches or unto elders/seniors; it shows a posture of deep humility- and he says it twice..

but there's nothing we could've done..
we have our reasons.

and in order to put out something that we're truly satisfied with/proud of
we can't/don't take our comeback lightly
like the scale.. i mean you all know ..
we have so much to consider
so i'm sorry that this is all i can say/my only excuse for now

HOWEVERRRR we will definitely be back
and even if the form isn't what you all want
there's nothing we can do about that
and while there's nothing we can do about that specifically
we'll still do best
that's all i can really do say

cuz see.. i'm still learning 'love' today
i want to relish/live in the present..
cuz the past always..

the reason i can't sleep well is tied with the past anxious about the future ..then my present.. ??

cuz like even when i was a trainee - i was always like 'ahh what do i do'
'ahh should i have not done this'
'i should've just studied..'
'blahblah.. will we ever be able to debut?'
once we debuted, i was like 'ahh what do i do now'
"we have to blow up now.. what do we do"
"how do we blow up.. how do we become popular.."
when we got popular i was like "oh no now we have to live well"
"how do we live well"
when i went to the military i was like "ahh what do i do now"
"what do i do what do i do" "is this how i die..??"

so i'm trying to live in the present
this december like... i know i said just earlier that i wish i could just blink and that it'd be next year BUT!
i'm going to live believing that even times like this all have significance for my life

let's all just get through 'today' together
it's december 6th today

anyways i've been rambling my dogshit nonsense for too long
but yea i'd just be so grateful if you could accept/trust/believe/understand that i love you all
even if it's not all reciprocated, i will continue to live the way i think i should live
thank you
okay imma go workout now
oh this song is weird

one last thing i'll say is this - it doesn't have to be me but i URGEEEE YOU TO PLEASEEE only follow translators/translations done by people who SPEAK KOREAN ENOUGH that they know the culture/context/tone - not just ones using papago/google and duct taping it together. there's SO MUCH LOST that can end up having real consequences for YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH let alone how we as a fandom show up for them/each other.

as always, comments are always welcome but anyone that shows any disrespect to myself or any of my other subscribers will be promptly dealt with - i do NOT allow trolls to ruin my safe spaces.