OT7 Live - 12/16

둘, 셋 방탄 !!🐤 & 둘 셋 방탄!!🐣

My commentary in green.
To keep it easiest for me to transcribe, I'll be abbreviating some names:
RM, Jin, SUGA, hobi, Jm=Jimin, V, JK=Jung Kook
For record's sake, the correct spelling/capitalizations of their stage names, in fan chant order: RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, Jung Kook
Also, as you may have already seen, this live was PURE CHAOS with many members speaking at once/over each other - I did my best but please bear with me lol.. it is what it is hahahaha

Video 1

Jm: please move back.. back back back a bit..
SUGA: is it on?

HELP ME. TINY SUGI HAS PIERCED THE VEIL WITH HIS FIRST SPOKEN WORDS IN MANY MOONS.. asking ...DUNDUNDUNNN if the camera was on ✨✨✨
🐈‍⬛kitty livesss and meowsss

Jm: oh? is it not?
hobi: it's on it's on.. it's on.. it was on
Jm: oh it's on
Jin [to Jimin]: good job good job
RM: is it okay?
Jm[to everyone]: back (x15
SUGA (i think, the screen is obscured by Jimin's calloused hand😭): why wouldn't it have worked..

RM: isn't the brightness too low?
Jm: I can adjust that
SUGA: hey it looks a bit dark
RM [to Jimin]: oh not that - I mean your screen brightness
Jm: oh oh..
JK[to hyungs]: oh and since the table is white..
RM[affirming JK]: right? right! sEE?!

we are 26 seconds in and my last three brain cells are fighting for their lives.

JK thinks the camera likely picked up on the brightness of the table (in focus) and automatically adjusted to darken everything but the table
SUGA: oh cuz the table is white?
JK [to SUGA]: cuz the table is white.. it eats up the light..

RM: no no no no it was at it's lowest [brightness].. the lowest

(IN THE BACKGROUND)
V[to JK in the bg]: if the table's white, it *eats up the light? (*he's asking why the white table would "take up" the light and i am crylaughing because ... this is my 3rd ever OT7 live (first & second)... it's unfolding EXACTLY like i'd imagined based on old content/fanart/comics/'fake scenario'tweets.. except it's real and they ARE all older and wiser and more experienced and 'textured' with life and YET they are still the same silly bingbongs at the core... and yea.. i am streaming happy tears as i type this up T_T)
SUGA (explaining it to V)
V: oh really? cuz then..

(SIMULTANEOUSLY IN THE FOREGROUND)

hobi: should we fix it in place?
Jm: oh good idea
hobi: oh no we should fix it facing forward
Jm: oh or how's this?

Jin [from the back]: how many people are going to handle that one phone?

RM: oh that's good that's good

Jin: the focus is off now
SUGA: what is that.. (the view has become fuzzy)

Jm: wait but..
V: wait but..
Jm: wait the color is weird...

Jin: you probably have to go into the phone[settings] (cuz so far, they seem to just have been tinkering with angling/placing the phone so that it adjusts without diminishing the brightness/losing focus)

(JK incoming to fiddle w/ the phone)

hobi: it's fine it's fine.. oh it's good now..

this is not AI, this is the infamously precious fuzzy-headed RM and a wild kookooball - please observe the look on kookoo's face after he just finished setting it up, everyone said it was good, and then his biggest crush said "ok imma change it" HAHAHAHA nooooo🤏🏻

RM: imma change it.. one sec
Jm: ::laughs in incredulity:: it's fine (x5)
JK (to RM): oh there's a filter.. turn off the filter (JK says this to RM in informal Korean and a part of me shrivels at the sass)
SUGA: ya.. move back i can't see anything...
JK (to RM:) it's better to turn the filter off - filter off is *cooler

간지여 (ganjiyuh) = slang for cool/fashionable/stylish depending on context; here sorta meaning it's "cooler" to do it without the filter because it's more... 'effortless vibes' - to which Jimin/j-hope immediately react because JK used this word lolll

hobi ::laughs::
Jm: GANJIYUH? lolll
RM: i don't know if it's all that but ..
hobi: YOOO

JK: is it ON? oh the live is on.. (😑)

RM (generally to all members): ya.. why are you all scrunched on that side? come this way a bit..
hobi: okay go where you want but pick a spot

SUGA: is it cuz the practice room is dark?
JK: i don't think that's why..
hobi: no.. i think we're coming out fine [on camera]

JK: our eyes though..

Jin: it's clear [on camera]
RM: it's clear [on camera]
Jin: don't worry..
hobi: it's clear (x3) ..it's coming through clear

*잘 보여 (jal boyuh) = [thing]] can be seen well; here, "we can be seen well" - but IN english, it's less like they're saying each word "we can be seen well we can be seen well we can be seen well" - take it more like "it's fine.. it's clear .. it's fine it's fine it's fine.."

one minute and 28 seconds into this live - i am regretting all of my life choices as I read lips and then realize it's hobi's voice off screen cuz NO visible mouths were moving.. yup. what is life.

::V wanders to the back quietly::

JK: or should i bring some lights?

RM (to V): what are you doing in the back?
V ::fiddling with the light knobs to figure out which ones control which lights - so he's messing around w/ all of them TO turn down the background lights - but turns down the foreground ones for a sec::
Jin (to V): ...will turning that low make it even darker?
JK (to V): i think he's turning the back lights down..
Jin: ohh turning the back lights down..
V ::turns the back lights down and improves the members' visibility on camera::
hobi: oOooOo ::the hobi OHH of appreciation::
RM: *oOkay i see you~~

*좀 치네? (jom chine)? = literally like "you can play, huh?" -slang for "i see you~~" - so RM is saying that to V for his sense to turn down the background lights as everyone was fiddling with the phone.. but i believe this slang came about re: an instance like ..if your friend is secretly great at the guitar [you didn't know] and then they whip out their skills outta nowhere.. you'd be like oOoh i see you (in this case, literally, to exclaim like OH you can play huh??) - but that sentiment now carries over to any instance similar - even if no instruments are involved

(meanwhile...)
Jin: i JUST now learned where the light switches are in this room - since the lights are always on
JK ::bunny giggless at his oldest hyung and i cry for 6 business days.. before Jin starts air punching him and they break out into jinkookoo laughter and i cry for an additional 1-2 business days::
timestamp
hobi: oOooOoooo
..sugi sneezes..
..jimin dissociating into oblivion..
..Jin & JK being dorks..
..RM ever tightening his fluffy hat to his head..
..j-hope has been ready to conduct this live 6 business days ago..
..V is not in frame..

hobi: something... definitely feels better [re: live, all being in frame, the lighting situation, etc.] but hasn't actually improved

bruh.. i feel like this is scripted. how could they each be playing into their roles SO perfectly LMAO.. goes to show you how deeply accurate ARMY fan fake scenarios have become over time because.. this translation transcript just reads like one of those.. 🤣🤣🤣

RM: no it is better..
SUGA: ::something::

JK: *but.. *근데요 (geundayo) - "but! wait!..." ..in formal korean
hobi: yae? (answering JK in formal Korean because he is endeared to kookoo's plea)
JK: the screen is lying flat...
RM: !!?
JK: ARMY has to watch us like this..

RM: YOU'RE RIGHTTTT - we should restart it - let's restart it vertically
Jin: ahhh the experts do vertically (😑😂😂😂😂)
Jin: Jungkookie should engineer.. ::gets cut off::
[fin]

friends.. this <5min video took me like a whole 45minutes to translate -not because of the translation- but to figure out WHAT was being said and who was speaking LOLL pray for me🥲

Video 2

i have the digital subscription and one of the ONLY benefits i actually enjoy (since I don't need translations) is the digital upscaling for higher resolution vids... - please tell me why THIS is the HD 1080p resolution SIGH

SUGA: i think it got darker?
Jin: whenever any member goes live - i always watch
JK gets up to fidget w/ the phone again - SUGA: leave it - let's just start..

Jin: I always get the notifications right away
V: me too i get the notification too

maybe this is why weverse doesn't know to fix it...??

JK: okay it's fine now right?
hobi: well since you're up there.. read us a comment Jungkookah
JK: the comment he reads
新年快乐 (Xīnnián kuàilè)
新 (xīn) = new
年 (nián) = year
快乐 (kuàilè) = happy / joyful

..Jimin, j-hope, RM break into laughter BUT*..

j-hope/Jm ::laughs at kookoo's cuteness/randomness::
hobi:: why all of a sudden..
RM: ::laughs because of kookoo's cuteness/randomness AND:: ..he [JK] got all the tones wrong [re: enunciating the Chinese](HAHAHHAHHHajkldfjglakfjgldfkg)

istg if they start speaking other languages my 3 brain cells will resign and leave the building
JK: (adjusting his pronunciation)xīnnián kuàilè
RM: xīnnián kuàilè
SUGA: ..but it's not the new year
(i officially cannot. THIS IS WHOLE SITUATION IS JUST TOO PRECIOUS. THIS IS TOO ICONIC. how are they so COMICALLY quintessentially themselves - the way the fan scenarios have written them up. i am DECEASEDDDDD.)

RM: everyone, HAPPY (hobi joins in) NEW YEAR

Jin outta nowhere: hey wait it says it's encoding (😑😂 good sir, are you clicked into the live you just ended? probably.)
JK: no it's not..the comments are coming through
Jin: oh really? why does mine say it's encoding?
Jm: it's not even the new year yet -why are you saying these thingss
RM/JK: it's going to be the new year soon!
hobi: the end of the year..[cut off]
RM: 2025 HAS COME TO AN END!!! timestamp

SUGA: ughh you mean I'm getting another year older (SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ok sry.)

hobi (to members): how was your 2025?

JK:i wish it would end soon...
SUGA: i don't wanna get older 🥺 (SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭)
Jin (looking at j-hope but talking to the members): cuz.. you guys got discharged from the military
hobi: yea they got discharged
JK: i wanna go to 2026 asap
RM/V - mumbling i think the dates they were discharged but I truly cannot hear..
RM: i'm so tired of 2025

SUGA (to RM): yea.. 2025 feels.. like extra long
RM: SO LONG...
SUGA: is it because we went to the U.S. to do work you think?
RM: it's cuz ..spent half the year as a soldier..
JK to sugi: no but for me it felt SO quick busan satoori cutiebobakookooak;dlfjg;ladjf;glajdf;lgja;ldfgj;aldfkjg
SUGA: for me.. 2025 felt really longgg

kookoo has this habit of randomly ending words that should end in 'dae' by saying 'dee' which is a cute expression of satoori (not just busan actually, lots of satoories(?) do something similar, for example: "되게 짧은데" (dwegeh jjalbundae) - it was SUPER short/brief, but he pronounces it "dwegeh jjalbundee" - and it is extra cute because he is shaped like a bubble

JK: but we we.. please watch JK point everywhere and short circuit for a sec figuring out when everyone was discharged..i.. we got discharged this year hyung
hobi (helping to straighten him out): 2025 was the year you guys got discharged, us (pointing to Jin and himself) last year
JK: after discharge.. the brand new world was..

Jm: guys.. we're all gathered together for the first time in a while [for us, live] and you're gonna start talking about the military AGAIN??
::a symphony of 'no's::
Jm doubling down: WANNA GO? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANNA DO?
RM: nonononono STAHPITNOWWW STAHP TALKING ABOUT THE MILITARY NOWWWWWWWWW
hobi ::cracking up::
Jm: shall we talk about our happy times??
RM: i will IMMEDIATELY start playing conan ::starts miming playing the sax:: too long to explain here, please read this to see conan ref

JK: JIMINJJAN (?? prob an inside joke)

Jin: it was long for me too cuz i worked a lot..
hobi: for sure for sure

JK: think the military admin office is prob watching [us] too? ::Jin bops JK cuz wdym, my little boba why would they be watching us::
cry with me. Jin & Jm love bb kookoo so much. kookooball loves his hyung so much

i love watching all of their individual lives - each with their distinct styles of conducting the live per their character, preferences, cadences, spaces, etc.. But all together, the way their distinct personalities, juxtaposed to each others' personalities, pronounce each individuals' quirks/colors ever more distinctly and vibrantly is a gifttt

j-hope has level 1 zoomies

RM: k everyone settle down.. k k.. EVERYONE..

RM: KIMNAMJOON HAS HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE
i cry
kookoo & Jin clap
j-hope is still having his level 1 zoomies (very contagious) has spread to V.. who now also has level 1 zoomies..
RM: holy shhh cotdamnnn
hobi(rightly not allowing RM a moment of glory without the full story): but hold on.. I heard a rumor that someone may have failed their first attempt..
Jin (playfully defending bb koala): nah.. prob just a rumor

RM: while I was making a U-turn, I crossed the center line.. but NO it's because the paint had worn off so when I turned ...
(now ALL playfully coming to his defense 😭😭😭 because look at himmmmm)

hobi: no okay but that's totally understandable cuz..
Jin: no but THAT is so unfair cuz the PAINT was coming off and he probably followed the cars right in front of him as he was turning so..

RM: i only had two days of driving on the road..
JK: then the person in front was at fault [for leading a bad example for RM]
hobi: so now when we go places, Namjoon - you should drive us
RM: driving is fine - i cannot park
SUGI laugh

meanwhile.. V ::playing with RM's hat ears:: please behold

RM: i have to practice parking..
Jm: hyung, make sure you get lots of practice..
SUGA: but parking's included in the test though, right? at the end?
RM: ehhhhh it's not included on the road driving portion
SUGA: O_O?WHYNOT?
RM: only on the skills test (closed course)
SUGA: oh really...

Korea's driver's license test is in 3 distinct phases - (1) the written test covering safety laws, traffic laws, signs, etc.; (2) closed-course skills test covering things like turn signals, emergency braking, narrow lane driving, basic turns, and PARKING, etc.; and (3) the driving test on public roads/real streets covering actually abiding real traffic signs, minding pedestrians, overall safety/awareness, etc. - and is quite strict