RM Live Pt. 2 - 5/28

hihi

My commentary in green.

Part 1

Merry Go Round shares the same grain/texture as SWIM actually
okay Merry Go Round
the one from 'ON'.. in the earlier stages of work on this song
there's a producer named Sam
we were working with Sam just *yapping

*노가리 까다가 (nogari kkadaga) = Korean slang meaning yapping/chatting aimlessly

the mention of Tame Impala came up
and I was like, "Oh, I'm such a big fan of Tame Impala. Actually, I really wanted to work with him during my solo days but I wasn't able to."
But then he said he was friends with Tame Impala and had worked together
So I don't know if these were exclusively beats from Tame Impala or if they'd worked on it together but we were listening to a bunch of stuff and then he played this one [Merry Go Round] and I was like 'oh i REALLY like this one'

the reason i mention any of this is to say that this is how work can sometimes be done during sessions

when I heard this beat.. I had to go into another room for a bit
and I think Aldae, who is a songwriter that has contributed a lot to our songs this time around
and is super talented and has worked on things like Miley Cyrus's 'Flowers' and stuff
I think I'd asked Aldae at the time
I asked him to write a melody with the topic of 'Merry Go Round' in mind
Because in the military and in the same way as SWIM, living as an idol or a singer can be really repetitive and you can't escape that
whereas SWIM is about hope, Merry Go Round is about the boredom and despair

so I always thought about the carousel metaphor
both in the military and in this life, I thought about the carousel that you can't get off
so after I said that, I went to another room for about an hour and when I came back, Aldae had already completed the melody and lyrics
it was so good
so I played it for the members and I was like 'I really hope we can include this song' like 'this song hits like Spring Day for me'
and then we included it like that
and it's kind of sad right?
the only song on the album that's outright sad

so based on what I said, Aldae wrote the lyrics
I wish that I could tell you that it's over
I wish that I could walk away from pain
My life is like a broken rollercoaster
But maybe I'm the only one to blame

right - it's all my fault
your life is your responsibility
I think that's how I felt

next is 'Normal' -Ryan Tedder
it's a song we started out with
i thought this was a banger from the start
and all together we'd go 'HANDS UP' and then "Kerosene, dopamine, chemical induced"
I thought that'd be so fun
but 'Normal' - I mean 'Normal' is also a really sad song
the melody is really hopeful
so I originally wrote the lyrics in Korean and then translated them into English
because of the radio and stuff, we have a Korean version
the members recorded it in Korean as well
so we have a Korean version of the song
I don't know if it'll be released but anyway,
Kerosene is a type of fuel, the fuel that lights up the fire
dopamine, all the chemicals, fame, all the things like Las Vegas actually

one day they say they like me and the next day they say they love me
yeah, just make me bulletproof instead
make me bulletproof so that even if you shoot me, I won't die
'We call this shit normal'
We had the key word: normal
but what is 'normal' for us

As I'm living as a member of BTS
what is my normal?
what is ordinary/common/typical for me?
ah, it's like that..
one day, people tell me they love me
the next, they tell me to disappear
kinda like.. some kind of toxic couple

just the general public..
the people that don't love us - i think it is like that
one day people are like gassing us up
the next day, they tear us down
this is normal
this also took a really long time to write the lyrics

so if you look, that's the theme

'Heavy is the head when you chasin true'
'Will you color me red? Will you color me blue?'
[repeats in Korean]
'Two sides of a coin and they both ain't true'
[repeats in Korean]
both sides are accurate and both sides are inaccurate
because people are multifaceted/multidimensional/complex

there's no one that could define/explain the team that is Bangtan Sonyeondan
'I wish I had a minute just to turn me off'

After we've performed, or after we've done something like Gwanghwamun
the countless days and nights I couldn't sleep
I'm just so hyper-awake/mentally alert that I can't turn my thoughts off
I couldn't relax/calm down/switch off/decompress
'wish I had a minute just to turn me off'

like peoples'..

no cuz it's true, i chose this life - so the consequences are my responsibility
but I can also want to escape peoples' scrutiny/attention/gaze for a bit

this doesn't mean I want to give up my life or anything like that
but I can wish that people would forget about me for a bit, just a moment
I wrote it with that kind of mindset I think

Now that I think of it, this song is a really sad song
"Fantasy and fame, yeah, the things we choose"
I/we accept that we chose this - fame, the fantasy of fame
we chose it..
'show me love and show me hate"
'they make me bulletproof"

so at the concert, even though this is a sad song, I think we want everyone to sing it together in a happy light..
because this is also 'two sides of a coin'

We did really push Normal and Swim as the two songs that we wanted to promote the most, actually
but I think these two songs will stay with me for a long time as well

Like Animals is a song we also had in the earlier stages of the album-during the presession
this was also very sexual

wot do u mean 'was' sir???

I mean the lyrics are already kinda .. you know
like 'If you wanna be animals'
'Baby, we can be animals'

what's after that?
something like..
'Leaving pain is like beautiful'
kinda like... sadism masochism.. like let's just go at it like animals sorta..
but again, that 'sexual' vibe sorta didn't exactly make sense for the timing of this album
so we changed the song to emphasize more of the primal instincts aspect
I mean I guess we could've gone sexual with it because the sound does have that sorta vibe to it already but

'Like Animals' is another song I really like
something we haven't done before but really enjoy is [the] psychedelic [genre]
a style we haven't done before, Artemis really helped us with that to include these specific sounds
so that we could move further forward and truly evolve/progress to the next stage/substantial step forward
we thought 'we can't just keep doing what we've been doing'

at the same time, today we had 'Attack on Bangtan' come out, and I also really liked that too
I was like 'oh this is really exciting'
this brought me back.. our team had such nostalgia
that's what I thought at the time

Next is 'they don't know bout us'
'they don't know about us' ..Jimin was the one to really push for this song
Jimin kept saying 'this session, I learned/grew so much' be it singing or writing melodies

before writing this song - Jimin and this other songwriter had this other song called 'Weak'
we were considering what story to tell/what to communicate
and i brought up this phrase/idea: 'you make me weak'
that's what i thought
this is actually what we're saying to all of you
'you make me weak'
it's what you say to the one you love
'you always make me weak'
and this can both a bad thing and a good thing
like 'NORMAL'

so it's like this - kinda like 'all of you [ARMY] make me/us weak - make me vulnerable/disarm me'
all of you..
i always want to be honest with you all
but there are things that I'm unable to say
I want to be all cool..
I wanted to talk about how..
ultimately, whatever shell/facade/persona I'm holding up - comes undone
so anyway we made this song like 'you make me weak'
Jung Kook really liked it too

but somehow, it didn't fit the vibe of the album
the song itself was good but it was a little too sweet and a little too ..
like such a one-sided love song, you know?

so then Jimin asked me 'why did you make it 'you make me weak?' ...why did you make it so that we're weakened''
people don't know us..
they can't know us ..i don't even know myself..
we were talking about things like this and Jimin found that really interesting I think..
this idea that people make us weak because they don't know us..

the next day, Jimin and I were split into different rooms but with that point
there, with 독hyung (potentially PDogg hyung but he doesn't pronounce the 'p' so I'm not 100% sure who)- they wrote 'they don't know bout us' to a sample
this song.. if you pay attention during the concert
the ipads and tablets show others' eyes, facial features and stuff like that

so this song.. which started out as sort've a [love] song for ARMY evolved into kind of a very aggressive/combative/powerful song for the people 'out there' who don't know us
one thing I felt/realized during these sessions was how ..you never know from where inspiration will hit - or how things will turn out and that [whole process] is really fun
so I personally really like this song
this song says everything I want it to say
and the message is just that
'they don't know about us'
they can't know..

so outside of us (gestures to ARMY, himself), i mean.. people don't know us
'our economic impact' is blahblah..
sure that's all good but..
outside of that.. to be honest..
sure - our economic impact is like in the trillions
but that came from - the bond that we have, the years we've shared, the varied history we've endured
things you couldn't know if you weren't in this relationship/rapport
because it's relationships
i mean.. we can write a song like this
i think so anyway
I think Jimin did a really great job writing it

Next is 'One More Night'
and for this one too, the opinions were really divided on whether to include it or not
because to be honest, i don't think this is the best song or anything
it's actually rachet... like rachet [soul] was trending a while ago

I was unfamiliar with this genre so I looked it up

it's kinda sweet ..right?
a subgenre of R&B called rachet
but this song is kinda.. like.. has a sadness to it
i couldn't really say that this song has main single potential or that it's the greatest must-have or anything like that
but i think i thought that our album needed a song like this
there were those that thought that way

i don't really like 'one more night' and i think maybe.. hobi
hobi.. i think doesn't super love this song either
anyway - we all have different opinions
but i do like hobi's verse the best in this song
i think this was also from the presession
i don't have much to say about this song actually ..a very urban sound

i had this thought for my part..
like parts for the other songs and what i'd thought was..
언젠가 너로 인해 한참을 울게 되겠지 (someday, because of you, I'll end up crying a longgg time)

두려운 건 벌써 슬픈 건 너무 닮아버린 그림자 (what I dread/am afraid of/already sad about is how [the/our] shadow resembles you so much already)

OOOOF...

okay so if i love someone right..
it could be a romantic partner or you all [ARMY]
I'd wind up relying/depending on this person so much
Giving/receiving so much love to/from this person
you know when you're the happiest is also when you're the saddest right?
because you start to resemble each other so much..
because you start to enjoy being with each other so much..
because there's already this sort of certainty that 'this fated relationship/deep connection' is only meant for a season
..something could happen to us, BTS..
in this multiverse, there are so many possible outcomes..
grieving all of it ..in advance.. and being sad about it before it even happens..like an idiot/foolishly
but i also think that's what love is - that feeling
that very vulnerable sincerity?

even so - the desire to spend just one more night together
i was thinking something like capturing
the *human condition of looking toward the saddest future while standing in the happiest moment

jakl;fdgjl;adjfgl;ajflgjaldfjhlakjghliSIGHHH who hurt you sir?! who hurt your dimpled little face? and can i get their info just to chat..

*인간의 굴레 (inganae goollae) = the burden.. yoke? ...the inescapable condition of being human; there are many ways to express the finitude of humankind or the unique limits/qualities of being human - this is an especially loaded, emotionally heavy expression~ ah, our koala bb poet

is this mainly men? do women feel this way as well? i don't think i personally know any women that dwell in things like this in relationships, maybe in pursuit of professional goals because imposter syndrome is so real among us (#guilty) but i've never felt this way in relationships

we'll probably sing this in concert at some point right?
i think so anyway

Please
this one's the one where we outright tell you what we want to say
we were debating on whether or not to push more literary styles in this song too
but the chorus is already 'Baby, oh please' so we figured let's just run with it: straightforward/direct - let's beg

yup, he said beg
*빌자 (bilja) = let's beg

세상이 우릴 갈라 놓을 때 내가 다가 설게
even when the world tries to tear us apart, i'll draw near to you and stand with you
(kill me. jakdf;gadfghahj)

Even hell, I'm down
I'm down, if I'm with you, I'm fucking down

그냥 함께 해줘, my worst day (just be with me, my worst day)
I'm on my knees

Everything I can do...as a *하남자적인 man,
to be with someone like me -
please don't leave me, please stay with me
please wait for me, i'll wait for you too
stuff like that.. like really really ..as much as it's the second to last track
i think this is where we just outright lay it all down for/to ARMY
there's this back and forth harmony here..
and it's reminiscent of the kinds of harmonies we'd have in our earlier big songs
so I really like it

*하남자 (hanamja) = sort've the OPPOSITE of an alpha male (상남자, sangnamja), here, in RM's words, depicted almost like a simp for ARMY

*상남자 (sangnamja) = alpha male, masculine/macho man/manly man/etc. - this is the Korean working title for the song you probably all know as "Boy in Luv" (2014) - not to be confused with "Boy WITH Luv ft. Halsey" (2019). No, this song's lyrics are all about how I'm gonna be your man, I'll protect you, I'm tough and I'm confident, etc.

I joke about 'simp' but much more sincerely - the actual lyrics of Please don't read like 'whipped idiot' - it reads like honest vulnerability and sincere desperation

They know who they are, how hard they've worked, how much they've overcome, etc. They know all that. They own all that in their other songs.

Here, it seems they are unafraid to wear their heart on their sleeve and uncover the other part of their existence. What happens if/when ARMY stops caring or deems them outdated or irrelevant? I'm sure this is a worry all great artists carry. Not because the fandom isn't trustworthy but because true humility seems to deeply understand nothing is for granted.. and they are in fact finite individuals. If you've ever had post-concert-depression (pcd) from the high of attending in a crowd of some thousands of people - can you imagine the highs being on stage... juxtaposed with the feeling after it's over? I'm sure each time they've finished a project, a performance, an album, etc. - it must feel surreal. Great heights...great lows. I'm so so glad they have each other... and that there's SEVEN of them... and that they desperately love each other. THANK GOODNESS.

Into the Sun...
Into the Sun is the last song
this song is just great as is but the true brilliance/value [of this song] [comes out] at concerts..

Again today.. a few hours ago, I felt it again during "Into the Sun" but
I really go through about *50,000 different thoughts/emotions

*literally "50,000" but often used to mean just "a TON/a crazy amount"

so I think songs that can really give you (or make you feel) the full scope and dimension of human emotions are really good songs..
the 7 of us walking towards the setting, glowing sun
the sun.. the sun..
looking out to all 50- 60-thousand of you - with ARMY bombs ..your faces..
and also at that time, the sunlight was beaming down onto/toward the audience too so we could clearly see each of your faces - one by one really well
and the signs as well

this is one of the moments I most look forward to during the concerts I think
and Taehyung and the others did so well
liked this song so much that I said I thought we definitely had to include it from the start

Jin hyung's voice comes through really beautifully in this song too
and I thought, okay I should write the entire thing in Korean

so as I went through RPWP and my solo work, I abandoned a lot of the writing styles I used to rely on
like literary explanations and descriptions - [writing lyrics] as if to paint a picture - i let go of that, a lot of the literary stuff

but with this song, i wanted to return to my original self
so 'the hour between the dog and the wolf' - the hour where the dog and wolf are indistinguishable

this is a famous poetic/philosophical expression, this hour between the dog and the wolf from the French/European l’heure entre chien et loup (“the hour between dog and wolf”) - alluding to the dark twilight hour when it becomes difficult to distinguish a dog from a wolf, difficult to parse what is safe versus what is a threat, what is familiar versus unfamiliar; this phrase which had been adopted into Korean popculture by a drama in the early 2000s by the same title and has since become a more ubiquitously understood/used expression but it's not like everyday Korean, or common household idiom Korean - no this has the unique fragrance of a specifically brilliant newly licensed driver all over it 🥰

this language evokes uncertainty, possibility, caution, fear mixed with expectation mixed with hope but it all feels kinda tentative

the compass of the beasts break apart and the people flee/scatter/evacuate
nevertheless, standing in front of all the commotion and noise in rebellion
but i just want to return home, to the place you are
there - the grass grows, the stars "set"
i'm suffering in the fire but i want to go back there..
back to the night where there's no moon
I think song this is a really good example ..like
it's sophisticated but still feels like it still rings true to the essence of who we've always been

further, the 'follow into the sun' hook is really easy for everyone to sing along
even the 'you call, i run' part too
this was a great way to end/wrap the album and i think it's just a great song
there's nothing really to pick apart here...

so yea, just wanted to share these behind-the-scenes stories
i still think we put forward our best work
even if we went back, it'd be the same
i mean i guess if better songs came out, it would've been better..
a better "FYA" than "FYA" would've been nice
a better "NORMAL" than "NORMAL" would've been nice
and of course if there'd been a better title track than "SWIM" that would have been nice too

but as I said earlier
right out of the military when nothing had yet been decided
going through the whole.. some said we should do this, some said we should do that
we arrived here after going through countless processes/discussions of decision making
i think this is our 2.0.. BTS 2.0's best work
with not one thing to be ashamed/embarrased about

if there's anything that i'm a little bit sad about - it's that the times have changed so much

you know i'm someone who started out doing music through literature, through words, through lyrics
but it seems like people don't really listen to lyrics anymore, actually, for the most part
even I don't really listen to lyrics anymore, actually
I also first learned about reels in the military
and naturally.. I also got hooked
like oh this is friggng funny.. oh wow this song is super catchy..
i'd just listen ..like at the gym when i needed something fast tempo or like digicore or something
so is there less and less space for someone like me?
i get that kinda restlessness/anxiety about that too..

that even if i pour in these kinds of stories
it's a time where it's become so much harder to get these stories to reach people

there's so much good content
no one reads books anymore
next we don't want to think anymore
we just want entertainment to be entertainment
to be happy/fun

i mean it's hard and tiring enough just to live so I get it.. i really do understand
i have that side of me as well
i think witnessing all that though just gets me to thinking..

because well actually.. cuz I still believe in the strength/potential/power of lyrics
i mean i personally believe in the power of lyrics so much
as someone who really loved life

as someone who has been saved by the words and melodies of artists
and fell in love with live ..as that kinda person

moving forward..
something I learned going through my solo era was I think I learned how to convey stories through sound without necessarily having to say it with words
but with BTS..
actually i mean there are so many new artists
singers and groups - that are so representative of the times
young folks doing such a great job i think

for us
I mean I don't know about solos because we are all so different but for BTS, moving forward
even if we don't painstakingly unpack everything through our lyrics
whether it's about something personal or something universal, whether it's about love or something else
i'd like for us to remain a team that delivers stories

i want to guard that for us

but as the times change, I don't think people want stories anymore
i think people want entertainment or just amusement that merely takes the form of a story
i suppose it could still be a well-crafted story
but if it's a bit dark or a bit sad or a bit uncomfortable..
cuz there's so much discomfort we live through, right? as human beings?

so for things like that.. like amusement, happiness, excessive positivity?
so it feels kinda like anything other than excessive/over-the-top positivity feels like it's getting increasingly pushed to the side/overlooked/neglected

i wonder if as i just ride the algorithms, if i'm not just doing the same thing
am I any different just cuz I'm me?
if I were just a listener, if I were just a reader, would I be any different?

ah cuz for me too - if i'm reading and it gets too serious, i toss it aside and revert back to reels too
'you do the same thing too, so just when you're the creator/producer - you're gonna say all this?'
sure.. but even still.. I want BTS to guard/stay true to/continue to protect that sense of romanticism/nostalgia
i guess it's my personal wish
as i've been working on this album and doing this tour, this is what I feel the most

okay my voice is so raspy i don't even know if this is getting through to you

your raspy voice is beating this into my dna

anyway, i've talked for so long..
i wanted to communicate this to you precisely/accurately, which is why i did it in korean
so probably the subtitles will go out in korean as well

(🤡)

anyway, I can't change the times
so rather than feeling sad/down/regretful about it..
as i do the concert in Korea, Japan, the US, Mexico, etc.
i've seen it in your eyes already, that we're still connected/linked/bonded
even if you take out your phones to record..

i guess I think you can take out your phones to record
i do that too... when i go to concerts i record too but
but if at the concert.. there's a lot of time making eye contact..

see that's why i like going to movie theaters.. when you go to the movies - for like 2 hours, you have to turn off your phone
for 2 hours, you can just be completely swept away by the director's intention and vision and that time is something we really don't have anymore
because I also look at my phone until I go to sleep and then I look at it when I wake up
and of course it's the right of all the fans who've shown up to be able to record
but even while you're recording, if there's some song or moment -
where we're there.. with some thousands of you - there's an energy we can feel right?
as we look at each other and sing the same lyrics together and jump together and wave our hands together, that moment
those moments will become more and more precious to me as times goes on
i think they'll become more *rare

(more "expensive" at the cost your attention, implying these moments will be fewer and far between as time advances)

i think those kinds of experiences will become more of a luxury [from their pov] in many ways
whether or not people want it to, i think it will become a luxury.. a precious one
so.. those things are disappearing
but okay i mean i'm not tryna sound like some out-of-touch old man harping out about the changing times

i will acknowledge the differences in these times
then if we say that we're trying to tell stories
and that we're trying to guard/carry over that sense of romanticism
how can we do that in a more sophisticated way?

to what extent can we ride the flow of the times?
like follow along and ride it?

for me, I think that if we want to stay relevant and meaningful as active artists, we have to keep evolving/changing
so anyway
starting with Gwanghwamun and then all the events surrounding Arirang
but these days, after an album comes out, all the events are over in like a week and then it just passes by as if the album never existed
there are so many artists, i mean including us

so I just want.. our creators to remain for a long time and be loved for a long time
but music these days is not just about listening, it's not just about watching, there are so many things combined -
there are performances and there are goods/merch and there are documentaries and stuff like that
the holistic/comprehensive experience that is created.. that becomes the story .. i think we're that kind of team
that's the 'brand' I think

and I mean I might've said a lot of things that sound kinda cool but it all boils down to one thing
just..love? sincerity?
we've endured so much to get here
even now, i'm scared to turn on this live and say all this to you
'You made me weak'

but i do want to say this because ..if I don't turn this live on now..
I don't think I'll turn on a live once I arrive in Korea
and then once we start the next leg [of the tour]..
like more and more.. the time since creating this ARIRANG album has been.. i mean it's already been almost a year since the song camp
cuz I might not remember it all
so I wanted to leave you with this

at some point, if I can make time..
I mean I actually don't think I'll be able to unpack all of my solo work that has come out over the years
Indigo and RPWP track by track [like he just did]
but I do want to share what comes up at some point

I believe that ..even like me [going live] to come like this and take up a whole hour to talk to you all
and for you all.. some 3,700,000 of you to come and watch this..
I believe this is [mutually] meaningful *treading/flailing/struggling

*발버둥 (balbuhdoong) = literally, kicking/thrashing your feet (발, bal)- but most often used in imagery where you're thrashing for survival - raw effort.. visualize someone trying not to drown/ if someone's getting attacked and writhing like all hell to get free

I hope that this has been helpful to help in the process of you loving us, for you to understand the decisions we made, the lyrics we wrote, and the different facets [of us] revealed through this album

anyway okay.. i'll stop here

i have to perform again tomorrow and i think my throat will be completely shot

thank you for watching
i'll always be thinking about what is important and what i am doing

i want to say that i'm always grateful and i love you all very much
okay i'll be off now

see you tomorrow for the final day
bye
goodnight